Change

It's interesting how life changes paths. Ever since I was a little kid, I alway's loved music. My grandmother is a pianist, and I remember how I used to just stare as she played piano in the living room. I knew that that was what I wanted. Granted the specific's have changed throughout the years from composition to clarinet to saxophone, music was always the general dream. I had never doubted that that was what I was supposed to do with my life, but now I find as I'm going through everything that I'm beginning to turn away. It hasn't brought me hardly (if any) any happiness in the past few years, whereas it brought me far more in the past. I honestly don't know if this is god's plan for me anymore. I have absolutely no idea what else it could be, but I'm starting to doubt that this is it. I know I'm not bad at saxophone, but I'm not so sure I'm good enough for what I want, or to even be here anymore. I certainly haven't gotten any of the results I would have hoped for since I've gotten here. I just feel like my entire time here has been a failure and I'm scared that I've wasted a bunch of money paying tuition here. (I want to add something else here but I can't quite think of what... so I may write back later)

I hadn't updated in awhile so I thought I'd just throw in what's going on in my life.

Just the Beginning

Everytime I see you

I can feel it in my heart

That my love for you is true

and thats only the start

You are the love of my life

The grin in my smile

and for that I will fight

to keep you here awhile

With you I've found meaning

Without you I'm incomplete

This is just the beginning

and you've swept me off my feet

Only you make me this happy

No matter how much this is sappy

-Andrew Ronald Johnson

Amanda

She is my inspiration, my best friend, and the love of my life. I honestly have no idea what I would do without her. She means so much to me, and I honestly have no doubt that shes the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

Amanda, this is for you.

I love you

Composition

I seem to find myself more caught up in composing. I used to write all the time, but I have stopped the past few years. Freshman year of college I wrote a nice chord progression but never went anywhere with it, and just recently wrote a song for my lovely girlfriend. I have now find myself caught up in continually trying to add to it and making it more interesting. I can't satisfy my urge to add more parts and make this piece continually grow, as my love for her grows. I also continually find myself writing new riffs, but yet my lyrical ability doesn't quite exist. I find myself in need of finding more inspiration for lyrics, but I'm not terribly poetic. That's been my entire problem for the past 4-5 years. I feel the musical inspiration and nearly always have, but I really need a good source of lyrical inspiration.